


Beautiful Liar

by orphan_account



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Angst, M/M, One Shot, inspired by a song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 00:04:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11497599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I'm letting go of your hands but my heart is still the same.





	Beautiful Liar

**Author's Note:**

> A/N:
> 
>   This story is told through Youngjae's POV except the flashbacks in italics are in 3rd person POV.
> 
> This story was inspired by the song Beautiful Liar by VIXX LR if you haven't listened to it you can [here](https://youtu.be/QH4-akjHM74)

"I never loved you"

That's a lie.  
The last lie I will ever tell you. 

"What?" Your voice cracks as tears slowly make their way down your soft cheeks.

"I don't love you, I never did. This." I gesture between us two with my arms "Me and you, it was all a lie." 

It hurts. It hurts so much to see you cry and to know that I'm the one causing you all this pain. That I'm the one to blame for your broken heart. It was never meant to be this way.

"That's not true" You sobbed, shaking your head and grasping at your chest like it was in agonizing pain.

You fool, why can't you see that I do nothing but drag you down with me.

I’m so sorry Daehyun.

Forcing a convincing laugh out from between my lips I continue to tear you apart, "Throughout our entire relationship, I think this has to be the most honest I've ever been with you."

Lies. Lies. Lies. They're all lies. Might as well call myself Youngjae the liar from now on.

"Why?" your voice is so faint, so full of pain it cracks my heart into pieces.

Because, if I let you go, you'll be happy. All I do is ruin everything for you. It hurts, it hurts like hell, but if it means you'll be happy without me I'll gladly throw myself away for you.

"Why? because it was fun, messing with you, playing with your heart, watching as you really fell in love with me. What can I say? I like toys." I say instead, keeping on my mask of indifference as I see you crumble even farther. 

_"I love you" Daehyun whispered, softly tracing his fingers along Youngjae's delicate cheeks._

_"Do you?" Youngjae laughed softly, lifting his face to plant a kiss right on the beauty mark under Daehyun's eye._

_"Yes" Daehyun laughed, pulling Youngjae's face closer to his, landing an enchanting kiss on his lips._

_"I love you even more" Youngjae stared at him, like he was the only one who mattered in this world, he was his shining star, "I always will."_

These memories. These beautiful memories are all that I'm taking with me. My excruciating words have forever tainted these memories for you, but to me they'll always be special. 

What will I do without you Daehyun? Will my life even hold any meaning without you in it?

"How could you!" You yelled, voice laced with pure agony, "How could you do this to me!"

I'm sorry Daehyun, I'm so sorry. 

I just want you to be happy, and I know with me you never truly will be. 

"I didn't think it was that bad" I shrugged carelessly, keeping up my act of not caring. "I didn't know you'd be like," I gesture towards you "well, like this."

"Why wouldn't I be like this you bastard!" You pick up a pillow and throw it at me "I loved you! and you've completely broken me!"

A pillow. Throw something heavier at me Daehyun, make me feel a pain worse than the one I'm feeling right now.

"Well, I mean... you can always just pretend like I wasn't ever a part of your life right?" that hurt but I somehow manage to make myself sound like a sarcastic asshole, but please Daehyun, forget about me. 

You glare daggers at me, "You think I can just magically forget everything we were? Everything that happened between us?!" he continues crying "I loved you. Don't you get it?" you shake your head.

I'm sorry.

"But none of it was true" the lies come so quickly, I should be surprised, but all I can feel is this hole in my heart growing bigger and bigger. 

I'll always love you, forever. My heart will forever beat for you and only you. But I'm letting you go.

I'm letting go of your hands but my heart is still the same. I think it's best for you if I end it right here.

My last lie. 

You walk towards me, before I can even blink you’re right in front of me "Look at me in the eyes" You grab my face "Look at me in the eyes and tell me you never loved me!" You cry "that you never cared!"

I'm not worth your tears. I'm not worth your love and affection. I'm really not. 

I can't take back my words. This isn't what I wanted from us, but it's for the best. You don't belong with someone like me. You'll always be too good for me. I'm not worthy.

I look at you straight in the eyes "I have never loved you" I maintain eye contact and keep my mask on my face. "Not even for a second. I don't care for you, and I will never love you."

You drop to your knees, right in front of me as you let out the most heart wrenching sob. You slam your fist against my legs but nothing hurts more than your cries as they fill the room.

I swallow up my own tears as I stand there. Still as a statue accepting your hits. 

Promise me that you'll live a better life than me Daehyun. Let me go, as am I, and find what you deserve. Live the happy life you are meant to live.

I'm sorry. Don't love me. I don't deserve it. Hate me and leave me all alone.

_"It's okay" Youngjae rubbed Daehyun’s back comfortingly, as he cried in his arms._

_"He told me I was no longer his son if I chose you" Daehyun’s voice shook as he tried to speak through his tears. "He's my dad, he's supposed to love me and support me through everything"_

_"I know babe, I'm sorry" Youngjae held him tighter in his arms, hoping to rid him of all his pain._

_"It's not your fault" Daehyun whispered back, sniffling._

Except it was my fault. Everything was my fault. If you stay with me you'll end up losing everything. Daehyun I can’t have that happening to you, because of me. 

“I’m leaving” I mask my voice to sound stronger than I feel.

“Don’t go!” You yell “Please” you beg, the tears flowing even faster. “Don’t leave me.”

I knew it was going to hurt, letting you go. But I never expected the pain to be this excruciating. It hurts worse than death. I never meant to hurt you this much Daehyun, I’m so sorry. But it’s the only way.

“You already know my true feelings” I look down at you, my mask ironically covering up what I really feel. “What’s the point of me staying, it won’t be so fun anymore” I sigh, as if this is nothing but a waste of time for me.

Leave me Daehyun. 

Go and be happy without me.

That’s all I want. All I’ll ever want. 

For you to be happy.

Please let this lie be worth it.

The love that we shared was beautiful. You were a shining star that appeared in my life and made everything brighter with your smile. I’m leaving the last bits of my heart here with you. 

 

“Leave” I repeat myself.

I watch as you weakly get yourself up to your feet this time. You sniffle and wipe your tears, as you raise your head to look at me. 

“Fine” You shakily whisper “You don’t want anything else to do with me, I’ll leave” You begin to turn around but stop suddenly “But once I’m out that door, I am never coming back. Me and you will never cross paths again.” Even though your back is turned to me I know your tears are running down your face again. 

“That’s exactly what I want.” I have to let you go. 

I watch as you continue walking until you're out and slam the door closed behind you. 

 

I feel numb, this pain I’m feeling is the worst feeling I have ever felt in my life.

I let out the scream I’ve been holding in, picking up the vase next to me and smashing it against the wall. 

You’re leaving me.

It hurts but I feel so relieved. 

Don’t worry about me Daehyun. Just live your life. Go and be happy without me.

That’s all I ask.

_“Dance with me and pretend the world doesn’t exist” Youngjae whispered, pulling Daehyun’s body against his._

_Daehyun giggled “there’s no music” He looked up into Youngjae’s smiling eyes “What are we supposed to dance to?”_

_“We don’t need any music” Youngjae whispered “It’s just me and you here anyway, no one else” He smiles softly as they begin to sway lightly._

_Daehyun’s laugh fills the room, the most beautiful sound Youngjae’s ever heard. “You’re beautiful” he stares at Daehyun with nothing but love in his eyes._

_Daehyun’s cheeks turn a slight pink after hearing the compliment_

_“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever encountered” Daehyun whispers, leaning in to plant a kiss on Youngjae’s tiny nose._

I fall to my knees, a sob ripping through my chest.

You were wrong Daehyun, I’m not beautiful, I’m a coward.

This pain I’m feeling is exactly what I deserve, I’m so sorry for hurting you.

I’m letting you go, but I’ll always love you.


End file.
